Responses

Christopher Marzano-  Good draft, needs to be more specific. The introduction needs a little work there is no specific thesis yet the ideas are good. I liked how you compared the two specific website and wrote the main differences in them. However your essay is very formal maybe you should change your sentence structure around. Also good use of quotes maybe can expand on some ideas.
Sophia Goumakos- Introduction was a little weak due to repetitive use of I. However i liked the fact of how you were specific about your topic and you incorporated your personal ideas about overprotective mothers. I also have the same view of overprotective mothers and i think your argument of why this is a bad thing is valid. The quotations were good also supporting your argument but you may want to reorganize them so that each of them have their own paragraphs it may make the essay flow easier.
Amanda Rodriguez- Really good essay strong introduction. Very clear concise thesis. Organized well however some ideas are explained and then you give your opinion right after which is good but can be saved till the conclusion. I liked how you showed both sides of the topic and explained it.  Also, well written like your opinion on the matter of privacy and you made your point clear.